


When the Past Blinked

by hereforwords



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Non-Graphic Smut, sasuke very badly lost instead, what if instead of winning against orochimaru
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:00:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23795764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hereforwords/pseuds/hereforwords
Summary: "What was the point?" Sasuke asked no one, rolling over onto his back. Blood was dripping down into his ear as he looked up at the close to black sky, only a few stars bright enough for his one weak eye to see at all. "What was the point of any of it?"OrSasuke loses an eye and his chakra, but finally learns how to stop running.
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 17
Kudos: 161





	1. Dusk

**Author's Note:**

> so rarely write OC's but how could I resist writing Sasuke interacting with a little kid, I'm only human

The trees looked like nothing more than strange blurred shapes moving past him, the entire world dark on one side with red slowly bleeding in all over. His legs shook, pain spreading out over him each time his feet hit the ground, but even that was nothing compared to the blinding hot pain coming from the hole in his face, the hole where his eye should have been. He couldn't even reach out with it to see if he was safe anymore, all he could do was run.

Sasuke clutched his hand tighter over his eye, fingers coated in blood, searching desperately inside of himself for even the faintest hint of his chakra but there was nothing, like it had never even been there at all, like there was nothing left to find. It was just gone, just like his eye, just like any small bit of hope left inside of him that he could make anything out of this life. He might as well have been dead for all he would be able to do now. 

Itachi should have just killed him all those years ago if this was how he would end up, weaker than he'd ever been with only one eye left that would never show him what he needed to see. Sasuke almost wished Orochimaru had taken both of them, at least then he wouldn't still be running through the woods, he wouldn't be anywhere at all anymore. Sasuke wasn't even sure why he was still running, his body just moved on its own even when he was so far past the point of exhaustion. 

On the next step he tripped, hands not fast enough and his face slammed into the ground, nose now bleeding along with his empty eye. There was dirt in his mouth, his inner lip split against his teeth on impact and coating his mouth in a dirty iron taste that Sasuke couldn't help but cough against.

If Sasuke could have found the energy he might have laughed. It felt like this should have been funny. Sasuke desperately wanted this to be funny, to be a joke that he would soon wake up from. Maybe if he just closed his eyes he would, maybe he would open them to find himself back in bed at home, his mother's voice in his ear telling him that if he didn't get up soon he would miss seeing his brother off before he left in the morning. 

"What was the point?" Sasuke asked no one, rolling over onto his back. Blood was dripping down into his ear as he looked up at the close to black sky, only a few stars bright enough for his one weak eye to see at all. "What was the point of any of it?" 

Sasuke realized then that he could still laugh, shaking all over as a fresh wave of pain came over him. It really was all just a joke. His entire life for nothing, years and years of sacrifice, of cutting out everything from himself that he'd ever cared for, and this was where he ended up. Maybe it was right that he died like this, alone and with no one to blame but himself. Sasuke's eye burned and he realized he wasn't laughing at all, but the joke was still the same. The joke was always the same, the only true thing left, the only thing that mattered when everything else was stripped away. 

He knew that he never could, but just once Sasuke wished that he could have been someone else, that even just for the smallest moment in his life the joke could have been on someone else. 

Sasuke tried to push himself up off the ground but he couldn't feel his hands anymore, could only see a small dark circle above him, the trees and the stars all lost to him now. But that was probably for the best, there wasn't anything left that he wanted to see. There wasn't anyone left who would care if he rotted away into the dirt, and even if that didn't feel true Sasuke knew that by now it must have been, that the years ate away at everyone just the same. In the end time turned everyone into a liar, regardless of how true their words were when they first said them.

He would be better off without Sasuke anyway. 

**

"You're not bending your leg right."

Sasuke turned around with a huff, glaring up at his brother. "I'm doing it just like you did, I watched!"

Itachi shook his head, a fond smile coming over his face. "If you were doing it like I did it would have worked."

"But I am," Sasuke insisted, "Can you just show me again?"

Itachi shook his head, looking entirely too amused. "I already showed you twice. You'll have to figure it out on your own."

"But big brother I-"

"No buts," Itachi said as he walked over, poking Sasuke's forehead in that way he knew Sasuke couldn't stand, "Maybe I'll show you again next time, if you still haven't figured it out by then."

"I'll figure it out," Sasuke snapped, hitting Itachi's hand away. 

"Good." Itachi just smiled down at him for a moment. "That's probably enough training for today anyway, mother will be waiting for us."

"Why is mother waiting for us?" Sasuke asked, not even sure why he had until he turned, his question suddenly forgotten all together. "Itachi? Hey, what are–" 

But then Sasuke remembered, watching Itachi's back as he turned and walked away into the red painted sky, so achingly familiar Sasuke felt hollowed out inside.

_Oh. I know this place. ___

__Itachi was going somewhere that Sasuke would never be able to follow him to, that in his heart he knew he would never be able to reach at all._ _

__"Come back," Sasuke choked out anyway, iron staining each desperate word he said. "Please just come back."_ _

__But Itachi didn't, not even turning as he took one step after another. He left Sasuke behind in a slow blink that seemed to never end. Sasuke knew that he couldn't be surprised, that the past didn't look back for anyone, but his grief wouldn't seem to let the memory go, even knowing that too was a lie. His grief had left him with nothing but a world full of liars after all, he just couldn't help but still crave their warmth all the same._ _

__Sasuke put his head down on the same dirt that he and Itachi must have walked home on countless times before and cried._ _

__*_ _

__"I think he moved."_ _

__"Hush. I told you not to just stare at him."_ _

__Sasuke tried to move his head towards the voices and let out a groan instead, head aching more than he could ever remember before. Then he tried to open his eyes and it only got worse, bringing a hand up to his face despite the pain but meeting nothing but cloth. With a panicked breath Sasuke forced the eye he could still feel to open, blinking as he willed his vision to focus._ _

__Suddenly there was something pressed against his stomach and then two wide blue eyes were right in front of his face, bits of blonde hair falling down before them._ _

__"Naruto?" Sasuke whispered, realizing his mistake as soon as the name left him, the hair just a shade too dark, the eyes lighter than they should have been. Pain racked his body and Sasuke pulled his eye back shut with a grimace, feeling the weight which he now realized was a hand lift up from his stomach._ _

__"Get off," said a woman's voice, "Can't you see that he's in pain?"_ _

__"Sorry mama. I was just excited he's finally awake."_ _

__"Where–" Sasuke started before he broke off into a cough that never seemed to end. By the time it was over it felt like he could hardly breathe, let alone speak he was so exhausted._ _

__"You're okay," the woman said. "It looks like you've really been through it. Just rest now."_ _

__But that wasn't right. None of this made any sense. Sasuke needed to know where he was, when he was, how any of this had happened. But he was just so tired. The pain in his head wouldn't leave, but it felt more dull and constant now, like he could breathe without choking on it. Maybe it would be okay if he listened to the voice, just for a little while._ _

__He was so very tired._ _

__**_ _

__Sasuke had meant to walk away. They were done with training for the day, Kakashi and Sakura already gone only after Sakura insisted on asking him another question she had to know by now he would say no to. Sasuke had already made it halfway across the training field by the time she'd given up and left, which was exactly where he still was now._ _

__It might have been a sound, a feeling, Sasuke really couldn't say. But something had made him stop and look back, and it was still what he was doing. He honestly couldn't believe Naruto hadn't turned and noticed him yet, but then again maybe he could. Even from here Sasuke could see that Naruto had that look on his face, the one he only ever showed when he thought no one was there to see it. Sasuke knew that look too well, he couldn't escape it when he caught sight of his own reflection when he was alone._ _

__Sasuke knew that Naruto had no one in a distant sort of way, something that had always just been but nothing he'd ever bothered giving much thought. Or at least he hadn't back when Naruto was still just a loud moron he was forced to take classes with. He didn't know what Naruto was anymore, but it wasn't that. He hadn't been just that for a long time._ _

__Leaning down Sasuke picked up a rock and threw it, watching Naruto catch it while almost falling over in the process. Naruto looked down at his hand for a moment before he finally turned and saw him._ _

__"What's this about?" Naruto called out in clear offense, waving the hand he held the rock in._ _

__Sasuke wasn't going to have a conversation across the field and started walking over, not rushing and Naruto didn't move to meet him in the middle. After a long moment Sasuke was finally next to him, still with no idea what to say or why he cared. Sasuke wasn't even sure why he hadn't left to begin with._ _

__"What's your deal?" Naruto asked, that stupid expression of confusion pulling his features tight, "Throwing stuff then just staring at me, did I hit you too hard in training or something?"_ _

__"We both know you didn't hit me hard enough to even bruise."_ _

__"Whatever," Naruto said, clearly annoyed, "What do you want?"_ _

__What did he want? Why hadn't he just gone home? What was it about that look on Naruto's face that held him back?_ _

__Sasuke knew he didn't really have to ask himself at all._ _

__"Come eat with me," Sasuke said, definitely not a question, just a statement about what they would do._ _

__"What?" Naruto asked, "Why would I do that?"_ _

__"Just come on," Sasuke said, already turning to walk away. "We can have ramen."_ _

__"Really?" Naruto asked as he followed after him, the suspicion in his voice replaced with a quiet excitement. "You're not messing with me?"_ _

__"No." Sasuke looked over at Naruto who was now walking beside him. Sasuke could still see that same look hidden in behind his eyes. "Come on, I'm hungry and you're slow."_ _

__"I'm not slow!" Naruto yelled. "I can catch you anytime I want."_ _

__Sasuke tried to stop but found himself still walking, suddenly unable to even turn his head to look back._ _

__"Sasuke!" Naruto yelled but it was all wrong, desperate in a way it never should have been, "You don't have to do this!"_ _

__Sasuke just kept walking, dread pouring out over all of him now with each step he took. This wasn't right. This wasn't what was supposed to happen. He didn't want to keep moving, he wanted to stop, he just wanted to stop._ _

__But when had what he wanted ever mattered?_ _

__"Stop!" Naruto screamed out but Sasuke couldn't, he knew that he couldn't stop now, that he had to keep going. He couldn't look back now._ _

__He couldn't look back._ _

__It didn't matter how desperately he wanted to, Sasuke couldn't look back._ _

__Don't look back._ _

___Don't go back. ____ _

____"Come back," Naruto screamed, his voice the only sound left in the world. "Just stop, Sasuke _please. _"___ _ _ _

_______I can't look back. ____ _ _ _ _ _

________*_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sasuke woke up still hurting all over but feeling more like himself, the pain constant but nothing he couldn't deal with. He didn't think about the wrappings over his eye. He didn't think about his chakra that he couldn't feel at all. Sasuke opened his eye and didn't think about anything at all as he looked up at the ceiling he had no memory of. It was quiet all around him, so when he finally turned his head Sasuke couldn't help the momentary surprise that went through him when he saw a young boy sitting next to him on the floor. But it shouldn't have been a surprise._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________It wasn't like Sasuke would have been able to sense him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Oh," the boy said softly, "I didn't wake you up, did I?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sasuke tried to shake his head and instantly regretted it, just breathing for a moment instead. "No," he finally pressed out, his voice like gravel. It hit him all at once just how thirsty he was. "Water?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The boy jumped up before Sasuke could even finish speaking, running out of the room. A moment later he was back with a glass, kneeling down next to Sasuke on the floor. "Can you sit up?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sasuke did, though it hurt all over and he couldn't even manage that much without a grunt of pain. He was so weak now Sasuke couldn't let himself really think about it, anger right there at the back of his mind waiting to be let out. But it had nowhere to go now. He couldn't do a thing with it at all now. Sasuke kept his hand steady by sheer force of will and took the glass, taking a small drink before managing to set it on the ground next to him without spilling._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Are you in pain?" The little boy asked, "Should I go get my mom?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Where are we?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"My house," the boy said, the answer only a child would give._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sasuke couldn't bring himself to keep looking at him, the longer he did the more hollowed out he felt. "And where is that?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"We're not really anywhere, but we're close to the sand."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The sand. Sasuke wasn't even sure why he'd bothered to ask. It wasn't like it mattered either way._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"What's your name?" the little boy asked. "I'm Kadin."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Sasuke." He didn't know why he was bothering. Was he even still Sasuke anymore? He felt unrecognizable to himself. He didn't feel like anyone he had ever been before._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He didn't know how whoever he was now felt about that._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Where did you come from? What happened to you? My mom thought you were dead when we first found you."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Nowhere," Sasuke said, knowing it didn't matter anymore._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"What happened to you?" Kadin asked again, something in his voice pulling Sasuke's eye back over. Sasuke let himself quietly hate him for a moment, or maybe just hate life for making this family find him, this family with this son who looked so much like him Sasuke wanted nothing more than to scream, but in the end that didn't matter either._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________This was probably the closest he would ever get to seeing Naruto again anyway._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"I lost," Sasuke said, turning his eyes down to his hands laid out on his lap._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"You were fighting? You shouldn't do that, my mom says fighting is bad."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sasuke felt something like a smile try to come over his face. "She's right."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Why were you fighting then?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________That was the question wasn't it, that was always the question. What are you fighting for? Who are you fighting for? Why are you always, always fighting?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sasuke didn't know. It had been all he had ever done, but Sasuke didn't have the faintest idea what he had been fighting for now, how any of it could matter when it had brought him here. Maybe the only thing he'd ever fought was himself. Maybe he'd pulled his own eye from his head and tore any power left in himself away. Maybe he'd done all of this to himself._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"I don't know." Sasuke shut his one useless eye that was left, throat burning. If he could have found the will Sasuke suspected he would have torn it out too, knowing there was nothing left for it to show him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Nothing could matter now._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The sound of a door opening and shutting pulled Sasuke back out of himself, looking over just as who he assumed was Kadin's mother walked in. She was a short woman with light brown hair, tanner than her son with eyes just as blue. She had a kind face that Sasuke instantly couldn't stand._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"You're awake," she said in mild surprise, walking over to stand next to her son. "I wasn't sure if you would. It was touch and go for awhile."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sasuke hadn't even considered. "How long was I out?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"About a week, though I don't know how long you had been out there when we found you." A soft look came over her face as she sat down next to her son and Sasuke instantly looked away, a dull ache the only thing he could feel. "What happened to you young man, do you have any family? They must be worried about you."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sasuke shook his head despite the pain, or maybe because of it, eye burning as his shoulders started to shake. A distant part of him felt like a fool for breaking down in front of these strangers but the bigger part of him hurt too much to care. It felt like he was losing them all over again, the one chance he'd had to make it right lost to him forever. He would never get to do a thing, and they would never rest._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________His family would never be at peace._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Kadin," the woman said softly, "go play outside."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sasuke rubbed uselessly at his eye as he heard Kadin leave, the door shutting behind him until it was just Sasuke and the boy’s mother. Even just thinking the word made him feel like he was breaking apart down the middle, raw all over, more exhausted than he could remember feeling in years._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He hadn't let himself miss his mother in such a long time but the pain still felt just the same, like no time had passed at all._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"I won't pry," the woman said quietly, "but Kadin's father and older brother were killed, I know that look on your face all too well. I'm sorry."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"You don't even know me," Sasuke somehow managed to say, still just glaring down at his useless hands. "I don't understand why you've bothered doing any of this for me."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"I'm not sure."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Surprised Sasuke couldn't help but look over, instantly wishing that he hadn't. The woman was smiling but it was one Sasuke knew all too well, one that meant all you were doing was hurting all over inside. It wasn't an expression he'd ever bothered to try and make himself learn, but it felt like he knew it better than his own face most days for how often he used to see it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"I wasn't able to save my family, but I wanted to try and save you. I wanted to save someone." The woman shook her head, still smiling though her eyes were wet. "Sorry, I didn't mean to come in here and unload all my issues on you. Are you hungry? You haven't eaten anything in some time."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"If you've lost people you should know," Sasuke said again. "You should know that you shouldn't have trusted me, taken me back here. I could be dangerous. You don't know me at all."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The woman just kept looking at him with that same sad smile on her face. "The fact that you're saying that at all makes me know that you're not, at least not to us."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"But–"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Hush," the woman said, and for a moment Sasuke felt all of six years old. "You need to rest. I'll go see what we have to eat."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sasuke watched as the woman walked over to the door, only managing to speak when she was about to step out of the room. "What's your name?" Sasuke asked, not what he'd wanted to say._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Akiyo." She smiled at him again before walking out._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sasuke just sat there staring at the spot she had been in the doorway until she came back with his food, struck in a way he couldn't understand. They ate together in silence._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________*_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________With each day that passed Sasuke started to feel more like himself, or whatever version of himself he was now. The wrongness of having no awareness of chakra never stopped grating at his insides, but as with everything else it slowly started to feel normal. Living with these people slowly started to feel normal too, a more dangerous feeling than all the rest. He couldn't stay here, he couldn't let himself get comfortable. But there was nothing left for him to do, so Sasuke could never quite work up the nerve to actually leave._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________After a few days he was able to get up and move around again, and Akiyo had no problems putting him to work soon after that. Sasuke helped them with laundry, cooking, cleaning, anything that needed to be done each day. It was easy to lose himself in everyday tasks that he hadn't performed in years, there was almost a strange sort of comfort to it. Even if he couldn't do much of anything anymore, he could still do this much at least._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sasuke was standing out back hanging up their clothes on a line to dry when Kadin ran up to him, tugging on his shirt with a smile on his face. "Come see!"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"See what?" Sasuke asked, reaching down to pick up a pair of his pants to hang up._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Just come on," Kadin said as he pulled on Sasuke's shirt again. "Before it's too late."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sighing, Sasuke turned and let himself be pulled along, not taking in much of anything as they walked towards their mystery destination. The trees were thick around the house and Kadin just kept walking deeper and deeper until finally Sasuke came to a stop. Anything could happen in these woods, and there wasn't much he could do now if it did._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"How far are we going?" Sasuke asked when Kadin looked back at him with clear inpatients on his face, "You know your mother doesn't want you out this far."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"It's not that much further," Kadin whined, pulling on his sleeve, "Come on."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sasuke followed after him again, wondering why he was doing any of this. But then they turned and Sasuke stopped, hardly noticing as the boy did the same next to him. The forest took a sharp drop into a canyon before them, the rocks a dark color rubbed smooth by time, catching the light of the setting sun behind them. The sky was awash with red and purple, casting the entire valley into a soft warm color Sasuke didn't have a name for, only that it stole his breath away._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Pretty cool, right?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sasuke looked down at him, at the simple smile brought to his face by something as everyday as a sunset. In this lighting he looked so much like Naruto when they were young Sasuke could only give him half a moment of even less of a smile before he had to look away._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Naruto had tried to get him to go on top of Hokage mountain to watch the sunset once, but Sasuke had said no, like he'd said no to everything. It hadn't felt like something that could matter, in fact it had felt like a complete waste of time. He'd told Naruto as much, had stood there completely uncaring as the smile on Naruto's face dimmed before falling away completely. Sasuke hadn't cared at all._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"It is." Sasuke felt his mouth twitch, looking back out at the sky that was now more purple than red, the dark of night slowly starting to creep in at the top. Between one blink and the next the entire sky had changed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Kadin yawned and Sasuke looked down at him again. "Tired?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Nah," he said, yawning again and then laughing. "Maybe a bit."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"I'll carry you back on my back if you want." Sasuke didn't know where the words had come from, a years old ache given new life in his chest at the sound of them alone. But Kadin's older brother was gone, just like his father was. Sasuke didn't know if either of them had ever done it for him, but Sasuke wanted to now, if only to make things seem normal for him for even the smallest moment._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Really?" Kadin asked, a nervous kind of smile on his face. "Are you sure? My mom says you still shouldn't strain yourself."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sasuke crouched down. "Get on."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Kadin jumped up on his back and Sasuke didn't bother to hide his grimace, knowing no one could see it. It wasn't from pain, the pain all over had faded away after the first few days he'd been awake. But it hurt all the same._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He wasn't even sure who he was hurting for._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Thanks Sasuke," Kadin said quietly, obviously embarrassed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Don't worry about it."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sasuke wasn't even sure who he was saying it to._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________*_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________It was late and Sasuke was outside, sitting in the dirt looking up at the stars. He couldn't remember if they'd always looked so far away, so soft and distant._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________It had been almost a month now and Sasuke suspected he felt as good as he was ever going to again. He'd almost gotten used to the feeling of the cloth eyepatch against his skin, could almost pretend that he'd never been able to see and feel so much more than he did now, but beyond that he was something bigger than lost. Every morning he woke up and told himself today would be the day, and every night he remained. Sasuke could see that he was putting a strain on them by staying, even if they would never admit it to him, they were poor with hardly any food to begin with, and he only took that much more from them the longer he stayed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________It was the worst way to do it, but maybe it would be easier for all of them if he just left now, in the middle of the night with no confrontation needed. Sasuke wasn't sure if he had it in himself to leave again while someone was asking him to stay._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________All at once Sasuke realized he could hear steps out in the trees and tensed all over, trying in vain to remind himself of all the now countless times he'd heard something out there before, and that all of them had led to nothing. He knew it would just be nothing again, but Sasuke couldn't convince his body to relax, tense all over with his pathetic eye straining to see anything hidden in the dark trees._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The kunai was just before his face when Sasuke saw it, grazing his cheek as he threw himself to the side, heart slamming against his chest. Another came at him and Sasuke rolled to the ground, pulling himself back up along with one of the kunai on the ground just as two men started to walk out the treeline, both with slashed headbands._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sasuke almost wanted to laugh._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He almost wanted to kill something._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Well what do we–"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Leave or I'll make you leave."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Both men laughed, the taller one speaking, "You? I think I'll take my chances."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sasuke felt his posture change, going to a place inside himself he hadn't reached out for in weeks. Of course there was nothing there, but he felt himself focus, his breath slowing as he took in the casual stance of both men. They were clearly weak but so was he now, the only difference that they were clearly underestimating him. Sasuke would never make that mistake again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Knowing that they would, Sasuke didn't react when they both ran towards him, letting the first get so close his heart was in his throat before ducking down and sweeping out his leg, knocking the man to the ground momentarily. Before he could get up Sasuke lunged at the other, the move a faint that the man easily fell for, and in the next moment the kunai in Sasuke's hand slipped into his gut like it was nothing, hot blood slipping out onto his hand._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Shit!" The man grunted as he stumbled back, both hands clutching his stomach as he fell to the ground._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sasuke barely had enough time to turn before the other man was on him, bringing up the bloody kunai as the man pulled a sword from his back. Just from the way he was holding it Sasuke knew he didn't know how to use it properly, but it was still another mark against him all the same. A sword was a sword, and the kunai in his hand had never felt smaller._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"You're gonna pay for that," the man snarled, clearly letting his emotions get the best of him. Even Sasuke's useless eye could see the man's hand trembling around his sword handle, breathing harder than the situation called for._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Good. Sasuke could use this._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"You can try." Sasuke pulled a smile that felt more like a snarl onto his face. "Your friend here couldn't do much, maybe you'll actually put up a fight."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The man's face hardened and then he was charging forward, the sword held in a way that Sasuke knew his first strike would be from the right, letting the sword get close enough that he could feel the air of its movement next to his neck before lunging to the side, his kick missing this time but he knew that it would, turning again immediately after and throwing his hand with the kunai back._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sasuke had been aiming for his back but the man moved at the last moment, Sasuke's blade slicing into the side of his right upper arm instead. The man hesitated for a moment before swinging his blade out again, but that moment was all Sasuke needed, bending back to avoid the swing before he was suddenly right before the man, kunai held at his neck._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The man's eyes widened. Sasuke could see the moment he realized his life was over, that he'd been beaten by this one eyed nobody._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sasuke took a long breath._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Your friend’s wound could be treated," Sasuke said in a low voice, pressing the kunai in closer and watching a small line of blood bubble up along the edge. "If you both leave now he could survive."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The man spit at him, landing on Sasuke's face with a disgusting wet slap. "Fuck you."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sasuke brought the blade across the man's throat quickly, telling himself he wasn't feeling a thing as he turned away. He had no desire to watch the man twitching on the ground, the last bits of his pathetic life slipping out of him. When he turned back towards the house Sasuke's breath stopped short._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Akiyo stood in the cracked open back door, watching him like she'd never seen him before now. Suddenly the only thing Sasuke could feel was the blood on his hands._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________For a long moment neither of them said a word._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"They were going to hurt you," Sasuke finally said, his voice surprisingly even when he felt so close to breaking. The blood on his palm was starting to itch, drying and sticking the kunai to his hand. He let it fall to the ground with a dull thud._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Like him speaking broke her out of a trance, Akiyo pushed open the door and rushed over to him, holding the side of his face in one hand as the other fluttered around him uselessly. "Are you okay?" Her thumb rubbed just below the cut on his face. "You're bleeding."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sasuke found himself and stepped back, swallowing roughly as he shook his head. "It's nothing. I'm fine."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Sasuke," she said softly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"What," Sasuke said, not a question at all, still just glaring down at the ground. One of the men was close enough that Sasuke could see him still, could see the blood spilling out onto the grass where just earlier today they had all sat together and had lunch._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sasuke wondered what it would be like to make the right choice even once._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Sasuke," Akiyo said again, and this time he couldn't keep himself from looking. She had that awful smile back on her face, the one that made Sasuke want to run until there was nothing left around him. "I know you hate fighting, but thank you."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Hate fighting?" Sasuke asked without thought, struggling to understand. They had never spoken of it beyond the very first time, and he'd never said anything close to that._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"You won't even play fight with Kadin," she said quietly. "You flinch every time he asks."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Kadin. Sasuke couldn't let him see him like this. But he couldn't deal with the bodies anyway he'd known how before. "We need to–the bodies. He can't see this."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"I know," she said simply, and then to Sasuke's shock raised her hands into a seal. She was using a jutsu._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sasuke looked at the faint blue glow of her hands and ached all over, the betrayal coming soon after. Glancing down Sasuke saw that both the bodies were gone but couldn't feel anything close to relieved. It felt like he didn't know anything at all._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Come back inside, we can clean–"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"You're a ninja?" Sasuke snapped, finally looking back over at her. It felt like he was looking at a stranger._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Not for a long time."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Where? When?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"The sand," she said quickly, her voice strained. "But that was a lifetime ago. Now come on, let's-"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Why didn't you tell me?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Like you told me?" She raised an eyebrow. "I didn't think it mattered."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Why did you stop?" Sasuke asked, desperate for her answer in a way that he couldn't explain to himself. His palm wouldn't stop itching._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"If you really want to talk about this, let's go inside." When Sasuke didn't move she took a step towards him again, worry coming over her face. "Sasuke?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"You don't need me here," Sasuke said faintly, stomach in knots. "You don't need me here at all."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Why are you talking about this now? Come on, just–"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"I need to leave."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She looked disappointed but not surprised, and Sasuke wasn't sure why he was so disappointed by it. They both knew this wouldn't last forever._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"At least stay until the morning, Kadin will be crushed that you're leaving."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sasuke shook his head, knowing he wouldn't be able to leave if he did. "Just tell him I had to leave. Tell him I'm sorry."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"It's the middle of the night," Akiyo said, her voice starting to get desperate. "You're hurt, just stay until the morning, please."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sasuke looked up, taking in the tears in her eyes. He'd never deserved a moment of her care and yet here she was still, caring about him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________There wouldn't be anything left of him at all without her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sasuke was moving before giving it any thought, walking up to her and pulling her into a hug, the first one they had ever shared. "Thank you," he said quietly, throat burning, "I wouldn't be–you don't know what you've done for me."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The words weren't anywhere near enough but Sasuke didn't know how to tell her, how to explain that he'd forgotten what it was like to have someone care for him, but even bigger than that, that he'd forgotten how to care about someone at all._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Just as her arms started to come up around his back Sasuke stepped away, already so close to giving in and staying that he knew he wouldn't be able to last a moment more._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"You're always welcome here," she said around a sad smile. "Anytime you want."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sasuke nodded, all he could manage before turning and walking away. Just as he reached the tree line she called out his name and Sasuke stopped, glancing over his shoulder to find her smiling at him in a way he couldn't remember ever seeing before now._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Are you going to see them?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He could only blink at her for a moment. "Who?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Whoever is it that you've been missing so much."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sasuke sucked in a sharp breath, stuck on the blue of her eyes that he could see even from here._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He hadn't even considered it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Maybe," he said quietly before turning again, not looking back this time as he walked out into the trees._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She didn't call out to him again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter: naruto finally shows up


	2. Daybreak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gaara! because why not

Sasuke had never been to the sand but it wasn't hard to find. He hadn't planned on coming, but the idea of a meal that wasn't cooked over a flame in the woods grew too appealing for him to ignore. On the way he'd picked up an odd job for an old man with a broken cart for his horse, so he actually had a few coins to spend. When he walked into the village Sasuke saw a few people spare him a second glance, but there was nothing behind it besides taking in his dirty clothes and one-eyed face.

No one knew who he was. It was amazing what not putting his family crest on everything he wore could do. 

There was a ramen stand to his left when he turned and Sasuke couldn't help but to stop. He didn't even like ramen, but he found himself walking forward and pushed back the cloth to take a seat all the same. There was a couple at the other end of the counter, talking happily as they ate. 

"What can I get you?" The man behind the counter asked.

"A bowl of miso," Sasuke said without thought, hearing the words in someone else's voice in his head.

_Go extra light on the vegetables. ___

__"I'm just so glad he's okay," the woman at the other end of the counter was saying to the man next to her. "I don't know what we would have done if something had happened to the Kazekage."_ _

__"We're lucky those leaf ninja were able to help."_ _

__Sasuke was hardly able to hold back his flinch, listening as hard as he could while trying to look like he was doing anything but._ _

__"I've never seen the Kazekage smile before," the woman said, "but I heard that him and that blond guy knew each other when they were young, so I guess it makes sense."_ _

__Sasuke pushed himself up from his seat, hardly hearing the man behind the counter ask if he'd changed his mind. The cloth around the stand dragged across his face but Sasuke could hardly feel it, walking away as fast as he could without running._ _

__He never should have let himself come._ _

__Sasuke didn't know what the couple had been talking about, how long it had been since this apparent fight, but he figured it had to be recent for villagers to still be talking about it. Naruto could still be here._ _

__Naruto could actually be here._ _

__Sasuke didn't realize he'd come to a stop until someone bumped into his side, causing him to stumble for a moment before making himself walk again. That should have been enough for him to look where he was going but like a fool he still wasn't paying attention to a thing, mind a complete blur. The idea of actually seeing Naruto again felt like too big of a thought to have, blinding and impossible to grasp its edges._ _

__"Uchiha?"_ _

__Sasuke froze for a moment before he kept going, faster than he had been before even knowing that one small pause had already given him away. He couldn't be surprised when someone came up behind him and grabbed his arms, pulling him around to face them. It took a moment for Sasuke to place her in his mind, but after a beat he realized it was the blonde girl from the exams all those years ago, the same fan still hung over her back._ _

__"It _is _you."___ _

____Sasuke didn't say a word, looking back at her while quietly accepting that his brief life of anonymity was over. Just like everything else this moment didn't care if he was ready for it to happen or not, it just happened. The moment was now._ _ _ _

____"Come with me," she said when he still didn't speak, looking more confused the longer she looked at him._ _ _ _

____Sasuke let her drag him along without a word, saving them. He knew very soon he would be facing nothing but questions, questions that he now had no way to avoid any longer, questions that he'd been running from for years and still didn't know how to begin to answer._ _ _ _

____The moment was finally here and Sasuke didn't know what the feeling was rising up in his chest, he just knew that he wasn't ready for anything that was about to happen._ _ _ _

____*_ _ _ _

____Gaara looked completely different and yet exactly the same, calm in a way Sasuke had never seen while still just as unsettling. But maybe that was just him. Sasuke couldn't pretend he felt anywhere close to calm._ _ _ _

____"So you're not dead," Gaara finally said._ _ _ _

____"Dead?" Sasuke asked after a moment, trying to make sense of it._ _ _ _

____"Your eye," Gaara said simply. "Orochimaru was seen with it, and there has been no sighting of you since."_ _ _ _

____So he had implanted it then. Sasuke couldn't say that he was surprised. He knew that he had no reason to feel this revolted. "I'm not dead."_ _ _ _

____"Yes." Gaara looked at him for a long moment. "Leave us."_ _ _ _

____Sasuke tried and failed to keep the shock from his face as all the guards left the room, bracing himself for the unknown. It felt impossible to calm down when some point inside of him couldn't stop preparing himself in vain for Naruto to appear at any moment, all while knowing that it was pointless. If there was anyone who was impossible to ready yourself for, it was Naruto._ _ _ _

____But maybe that was just him again._ _ _ _

____"Naruto told me he didn't believe you were gone," Gaara said in his same even tone, like his words weren't splitting Sasuke in two. "He told me he would have felt it if you were."_ _ _ _

____Words felt more impossible than they ever had._ _ _ _

____"Where have you been?"_ _ _ _

____Sasuke knew he didn't have to say a word but found himself finally saying something all the same. "I was almost dead, a family found me in the woods and took me in."_ _ _ _

____Gaara didn't talk for a long moment, looking at him without even seeming to blink. When he did speak it was close to the last thing Sasuke expected to hear. "What would you like to happen now?"_ _ _ _

____"Excuse me?"_ _ _ _

____"Nothing has to happen here, if you wish to simply leave I will let you."_ _ _ _

____"Why?" Sasuke asked, waiting for the condition, for the truth of whatever this was to reveal itself._ _ _ _

____"Because we all have to walk our own paths, I'm not here to make that choice for you." Something shifted on Gaara's face, what had been blank now focused in a way that instantly set Sasuke on edge. "I will give you one piece of advice. Naruto saved my life, I doubt if I would even still be alive if our paths had never crossed."_ _ _ _

____Sasuke's hands ached, clenched tightly at his sides as his thoughts moved too quickly for him to take in a single one. Looking at Gaara felt impossible but Sasuke couldn't seem to turn away, stuck on that familiar glint behind his eyes, like Gaara could see right through him without even trying now._ _ _ _

____"Naruto is a singular person, I've never met his like and I doubt I ever will again. I believe he could do anything he sets his heart on, and his is set on you." Gaara shifted forward slightly in his seat, the air around them suddenly heavy. "You shouldn't brush it aside like it's nothing, not when some people would kill for the same chance."_ _ _ _

____Naruto really hadn't given up on him, even after all this time._ _ _ _

____Sasuke felt like his face was numb, something inside of him cracking apart and coming together all at once, years of hurt that he'd never let himself recognize at all. But he hadn't been forgotten._ _ _ _

____For a breath Sasuke let himself feel the way he couldn't._ _ _ _

____"I didn't ask Naruto to chase after me that day, I told him to do the exact opposite." Sasuke knew he sounded like a child, but his sudden irritation at himself pushed him to speak before he could think, chest grating with each new breath he took, practically drowning in his sudden embarrassment._ _ _ _

____"Did you think he would listen?" Gaara was looking at him with a vague note of pity now. "No one ever asks Naruto to care about them, he just does it. I don't believe he sees it as a choice."_ _ _ _

____"Don't lecture me on Naruto," Sasuke snapped, "I've been through things with him that–"_ _ _ _

____"So I shouldn't have to be telling you this then, you already know."_ _ _ _

____All Sasuke could do was glare, and for a long moment they stood in silence. Sasuke knew that Gaara was right, but he would rather rip out his other eye than admit it._ _ _ _

______"So what, Naruto saved your life and now you're running around doing his bidding?" Sasuke hated each word as they passed his lips, ugly and jealous, desperate and horribly obvious. "I told him to give up on me. It's not my fault that he can't let go when it's already been years."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"So you don't want me to tell him that you're here? Fine." Gaara leaned back in his seat, arms crossed loosely across his chest. "The next time I see Naruto and he tells me about his latest mission to find you, and everyone around us looks on with pity I won't say a word, I'll just stand there and look at him just the same."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Fuck you–"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Because it would be a pity for someone like Naruto to put everything he is into someone who can't even begin to appreciate it."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Don't stand there and act like you know anything about me and Naruto." Sasuke's breath was close to labored now, flush with anger that had come over him so quickly he wasn't sure what to do with it. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt angry in quite this way, like it was something he wanted to hold against his chest, to keep it hidden from anyone who dared to so much as look at him._ _ _ _ _ _

______"I know Naruto," Gaara said simply, still as calm as ever._ _ _ _ _ _

______Sasuke hated that he knew what that meant, that Naruto's name alone meant countless multitudes he couldn't bear to think about them all. But apparently Naruto thought of him, and even more than that he hadn't given up, even when every sign said that he should. That even Sasuke's death wouldn't stop him should have been a bigger surprise than it was. Sasuke hated Naruto in that moment more than he could say, for so many different reasons, but none more so than the fact that he could never really hate Naruto at all._ _ _ _ _ _

________"Can I have a few days before you tell him?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________For the first time Sasuke was able to see a clear emotion on Gaara's face, surprise that left in the next moment. "Alright."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________That was it then._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He was really going to see Naruto._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________It seemed life wasn't done surprising him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________*_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Sasuke didn't end up having days to prepare, he didn't even have one. Gaara gave him a room to stay in for the night, and on his walk to it that night something brought him to a pause, a feeling coming over him like a phantom of the past. Sasuke heard the steps coming down the quiet road behind him then, heavy and fast. Heart threatening to leap from his chest Sasuke turned halfway around with his eye towards the sound, thoughts of any kind lost to him as he tried to make sense of the person looking back at him from just a few steps away._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Rationally Sasuke knew that Naruto had been growing up just as he had, but the shape of him had never changed in his mind, small and bright and loud. Naruto was just as bright now, maybe even more so, but that was where it ended. He looked like a man, and even without his chakra Sasuke could feel the heavy weight of his presence in the air around them._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He was still in orange, such a small unimportant detail that Sasuke couldn't seem to move past, along with a hundred other small things he was noticing again all at once, like a dream from years ago you'd long forgotten suddenly there at the front of your mind, clearer than it had ever been before._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Sasuke," Naruto breathed out, the relief on his face more than Sasuke knew what to do with._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________A full smile was slowly pulling over Naruto's face and Sasuke couldn't stand it, moving to face him and watched as the smile fell from Naruto's face all at once, eyes widening as he sucked in a rough breath._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"So he did do it then," Naruto said, his voice low in a way Sasuke couldn't remember ever hearing before. "I swear, I wish he wasn't dead just so I could kill him again."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Sasuke's heart stopped for a moment. "Orochimaru's dead?" They weren't the words he'd ever imagined being the first ones he would say to Naruto but they were all that he had, stunned and unprepared._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"We found his hideout," Naruto said, the disgust in his voice plain. "He told us he killed you and he had your eye, but it wasn't right. It looked like his face was rotting away on that side."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"And you killed him?" Sasuke asked quietly, not even sure why, just feeling too much of something to not know for sure._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Naruto nodded, his expression going pinched for a moment. He almost looked embarrassed, but Sasuke couldn't begin to understand why. For everything he was feeling in this moment, the last thing Sasuke wanted was for Naruto to feel uncomfortable._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________It felt staggering to feel this grateful, an emotion so foreign to him now Sasuke could only stand in it and ache, the years between them robbing him of any words he could say. He hadn't realized how heavy the weight of Orochimaru was in the back of his mind was until it was gone, stunning in its sudden clarity. Even with only his one eye left that hardly worked the way it should have, Sasuke suddenly felt as if he could see for the first time in years, like he could finally move without having to consider how it could be used against him later._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Naruto," Sasuke found himself saying, skin burning as his eye began to feel just the same. "I…"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Do you–are you okay? Where have you been? Do you need–" Naruto broke off and just looked at him for a moment, arm twitching at his side._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He looked just as lost in this _something_ between them as Sasuke felt, and suddenly it felt easy to do what he'd been desperate for from the moment he'd realized that Naruto was really there, so happy to see him that he looked moments from bursting with it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Sasuke took in a rough breath before walking forward, stepping against Naruto as he brought his arms up, one wrapping around Naruto's back as the other held onto Naruto's awful orange jacket. They were so close that Sasuke could feel Naruto's breath against his mouth, quickly turning his head and leaning forward, resting it against the new width of Naruto's shoulder._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________For a moment Naruto didn't move at all, hardly even seeming to breathe before he took in a shuddering breath and wrapped both of his arms around him. His hands dug into Sasuke's back with an urgency to his touch, like Naruto believed that any moment Sasuke could slip away again. Sasuke could only try to hold onto him just as tightly, willing Naruto to understand._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Sasuke had given up on ever feeling anything like this such a long time ago, had given up on ever feeling this way at all. So of course only a few short moments with them back together and it was all he could feel, flooded with it, clinging to Naruto even tighter against the irrational fear that the weight of it in his chest would knock him over entirely._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"I'm so happy you're okay," Naruto said in a low voice against his ear, voice raw in a way that made Sasuke flinch inside. "I couldn't believe it, I knew you had to be out there. I knew it."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Sasuke wasn't okay, he was probably as far from it as someone could be, but in that moment it didn't feel so impossible, here with Naruto again it felt like maybe one day he actually could be something close to okay again. "I'm here," he said instead, the only thing he could bear that still felt true. "I'm right here."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Come home with me," Naruto whispered between them, pulling his head back and pulling Sasuke's up with it, helpless against his need to see the way Naruto was looking at him now, "Come home," Naruto said again, his voice softer than Sasuke had ever heard it. His arms were still wrapped around him, warm and sure, like nothing could happen to them if they only just stayed this way._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Sasuke was helpless to it, all his strength stolen from him, left with nothing to fight against the overwhelming want that was spreading out all over him. He didn't even know if he had a home anymore, but looking at Naruto that didn't feel true at all. Sasuke felt moments away from daring to imagine a moment where he felt unafraid of tomorrow._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Hardly breathing Sasuke nodded, hating himself all over, failing everyone again just as he fell, lost in the endless blue of Naruto's eyes, the pure emotion looking back at him that he couldn't bear to try and define now. Naruto's eyes were damp as he stepped back, squeezing both of Sasuke's arms before dropping his hands. It took Sasuke longer than he wanted to admit for him to make his hand let go of Naruto's jacket, stepping back though it was the last thing he wanted to do, the last thing it felt like either of them needed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"I'm so happy I talked to that kid."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"What?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"On the way back to the village we ran into this kid in the forest," Naruto said, scratching the back of his head, "I stopped and talked to him, and he mentioned someone like you staying with him."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________For a moment Sasuke couldn't breathe, a word that sounded dangerously close to fate dancing around in his mind. "But I– they didn't know where I went. How did Gaara's message reach you so quickly?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Gaara?" Naruto was quiet for a moment, head tilted to the side. "I didn't get a message from Gaara."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"So how did you find me then?" Sasuke forced the words out, feeling exposed all over with no idea why. He'd forgotten what a heavy thing it was, to be the sole focus of Naruto's attention like this._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"I looked." Naruto laughed for a moment, an awkward sound. "I've been looking everywhere around here really, I just got lucky that I was the one to actually find you and not one of the clones."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Sasuke felt his mouth start to tremble and bit his lower lip, hardly breathing as he looked down at the ground. It was too much. All of it was so much more than he could have ever deserved. He couldn't begin to make sense of it, of any of this. Even just hours ago the idea of seeing Naruto again had felt impossible, this moment so far past that Sasuke hadn't even considered it once._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Somehow he'd let himself forget how surprising Naruto could be, how overwhelming, how everything all at once._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Sasuke looked up when Naruto yawned, realizing just how exhausted he really looked. "I have a room," he found himself saying. "We could get some sleep and leave in the morning."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"I guess I am pretty tired." Naruto just looked at him for a moment, his expression vacant in a way that meant his thoughts were anything but before smiling again. "Alright, lead the way."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Sasuke swallowed as he turned, hardly feeling his steps as he took them. He had already been so close it hardly took them anytime at all to get to the inn, the woman behind the counter ready with a key for him. She gave them both a long look before she handed it over that Sasuke didn't let himself think about._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He wasn't sure why he was surprised when they walked into the room and there was only one small bed along the wall, knowing that it had only ever been meant for him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Naruto seemed unfazed as he walked past him into the room, pulling off his jacket and laying it across the back of the chair in the corner. The longer Sasuke watched him the clearer it became that Naruto was affected, his movements rough in a way there was no reason for. Sasuke didn't realize how long he'd been standing just inside the doorway watching Naruto's hands until he looked up and found Naruto already looking back at him. Sasuke turned his head down as he walked further inside, stopping only a few steps after when he remembered that he still had no idea what he was doing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Does it hurt?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Sasuke jerked where he stood, only looking at Naruto once his heart didn't feel moments away from running away with him. He didn't bother to ask what Naruto meant. "Not really, not anymore."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"What about–" Naruto paused, gesturing to Sasuke in a way that made him feel horribly seen. "I can't imagine what that must feel like."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Of course Naruto could tell. It was apparently so obvious Sasuke's chakra was gone he didn't even have to ask. "I try not to think about it."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Naruto's expression flinched, his hands clenching at his sides for a moment before falling open again. "The doctors might be able to do something."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Sasuke didn't have it in him to tell him that there was no hope, that whatever had been inside of him before was gone now forever, in such a complete way that Sasuke already struggled just to remember the sensation of chakra flowing through him at all. "Maybe." Sasuke had never been one to fill silence but he found himself doing it now, not trusting what he would do if he didn't. "You can take the bed if you want, you look exhausted."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Naruto was already shaking his head. "No, no it's your room, I don't want to put you out."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Gaara gave it to me for the night, we both know he would want you to have it anyway."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Why did he give you a room? What happened?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Sasuke shifted where he stood, looking down and away to the corner of the bed. "His sister saw me in the village and brought me to him. He told me everyone thought I was dead." Sasuke found himself meeting Naruto's eyes again. "I didn't know."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"I never believed it," Naruto said simply, like it was nothing, like it was such an easy thing to say._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"He told me he would give me a few days and then message you that I was here."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Why did he want to wait a few days?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"I did," Sasuke said quietly, back to glaring down at the floor to avoid the way he knew Naruto must have been looking at him now._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"But, why?" Naruto sounded confused the way a child would, like he couldn't begin to understand._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Because I–" Sasuke stopped, holding back the words that had been moments away from bursting forth. He couldn't let himself be that weak, not even in front of Naruto. Especially not in front of Naruto._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"What?" Naruto asked as he stepped forward, his feet coming into Sasuke's view. "Just tell me."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Sasuke's shoulders started to shake, that awful laugh that wasn't a laugh at all spilling itself out of his chest. "I'm useless now, I can't fight. I can't do anything." Sasuke swallowed roughly, hating that he couldn't even hold this inside of himself now. "I didn't want you to see me this weak."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________What kind of relationship could they even have now? It had always been fighting, training, pushing each other to see who could be the best. There was no contest now, it would always be Naruto. What use was Sasuke now? What could he possibly do to ever make it right?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Hey, no." Naruto's hand was suddenly against his jaw, titling Sasuke's face up and forcing him to look. The expression on his face made Sasuke want to turn away, but even more than that it made him terrified to even blink, to miss a single moment of it when it was all there because of him. "I don't care about any of that. What, you thought I wanted you to come home because I wanted to fight?" Naruto's smile was a sad thing, weighted down in the past. "I hate fighting you, probably more than anything."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Naruto," Sasuke began, the apology drying up in the back of his throat before he could even fully think it. He knew he needed to say it, that he needed to say it more than anything but the words just wouldn't come. Even in this Sasuke was still such a coward._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Don't worry so much," Naruto said simply, his eyes going far away for a moment before he cleared his throat and dropped his hand, taking a large step back. "I'm gonna use the shower if that's okay."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Sasuke just nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He wanted so many things he'd never considered before today and now they were all he could think of, the heat of Naruto's hand still lingering along the line of his jaw like a brand of his inner thoughts. It felt dangerous to feel this much so quickly, like he had no idea what he would do from one moment to the next in a much too real way._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He turned his head just in time to see Naruto pulling his mesh undershirt over his head. Sasuke almost tripped, he turned away again so quickly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________The second the water turned on he brought his hands up to his face and groaned, with no idea at all what he could do now, how he had ended up here at all, alone with Naruto. It was hard to wrap his head around the fact that just a few short weeks ago he had legitimately believed they would never see each other again, let alone dream to imagine that Naruto could still care about him this much._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Sasuke walked over to the bed and laid back, closing his eyes for a moment. It would just be a moment, just to rest his eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Just until he heard the water stop running._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	3. Dawn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a somewhat happier last chapter to hopefully balance all the earlier angst lmao

"You don't need to be nervous."

"That's easy for you to say, you're not about to get introduced to your father."

Sasuke glanced over, unimpressed. "You do realize I have to deal with him everyday."

"Exactly! You're used to it, I'm not."

Sasuke stopped walking, crossing his arms over his chest. "Look, if you don't want to–"

"You know that's not what I mean." Naruto stepped in close and kissed him for a soft brief moment. "Can't I just be nervous?"

"It's not like you've never met him before."

"I know," Naruto said as he reached for Sasuke's hand, intertwining their fingers. "But it's never been like this."

"Like what?" Sasuke said, knowing exactly what Naruto meant and just wanting to see the embarrassment come over him like Sasuke knew it would.

"You know what." Naruto kissed him again, longer this time, until Sasuke was leaning in to follow him when he finally pulled away. "Come on, I'm not starting this night by being late."

Naruto turned and started walking again, pulling Sasuke along by the hand. 

"I can get there without you dragging me," Sasuke said, though he made no move to pull away, enjoying the still new warmth that walking hand in hand with Naruto brought him.

"Can you?" Naruto asked, but he wasn't there. Suddenly Naruto was nowhere at all.

Sasuke blinked and nothing changed, his hand stretched out before him, fingers curled around the open air. "Naruto?"

"Come on, I said I don't want to be late. I can't be late again."

"Naruto?" Sasuke called out again, louder this time as he spun around, looking everywhere and finding no one. It wasn't just Naruto who was gone, everyone in the compound was. There was no one at all.

The overwhelming silence was all he could hear.

Sasuke was running before he could think, his suddenly bare feet scraping against the rock-lined ground. He had to get there, he had to see it, he knew, he _knew _, but it couldn't be true. He couldn't let it be true again.__

__He couldn't be too late again._ _

__Suddenly a hand grabbed his shoulder and pulled him to a stop, turning Sasuke before throwing him back onto the ground. In the next blink half the world was dark, each breath nothing but pain on top of pain on top of pain. It felt like he'd been torn apart inside, like his skin wrapped around him was the only thing keeping him together._ _

__There was a figure just out of his sight, watching him._ _

__Sasuke could feel them getting closer but he couldn't see who it was, couldn't move, could hardly even breathe as the weight of their presence pressed down against him more and more. The closer they got the less light there was left, until there was nothing but the dark, this mass of a person too close for him to see at all. Sasuke's one eye refused to blink, staring into the blackness until it burned out red all over, like blood from a fresh wound._ _

__He didn't want to look. He didn't want to see. He didn't want to know._ _

__There was only one person that it could be, the only one who was left._ _

__They were the only ones left._ _

__*_ _

__Sasuke's eye came open slowly, just breathing for a long moment and not thinking of much at all. In the next he was trembling, hot ugly tears spilling from his eyes. His grief felt so heavy and fresh it was a struggle to breathe against it for a moment, to think of anything at all besides the overwhelming absence of everything. He felt hollowed out inside in every way that a person could be, like even just a strong wind would send him collapsing in on himself._ _

__Then Sasuke turned his head and saw Naruto asleep on the floor beside him, snoring softly. The next breath he took came just a bit easier, and the next after that, until finally the tears were drying along his cheek and Sasuke felt as close to a whole person as he ever did now._ _

__Even though Naruto was right there beside him, he still felt so far away._ _

__Not letting himself think about why Sasuke got up from the bed, pulling the blanket that Naruto must have put over him with him. Moving softly Sasuke laid down on the ground next to Naruto, shifting closer when he slept on. Sasuke stopped when they were just this side of touching, so close that he could feel each breath Naruto took against his face, so close that Sasuke would hardly have to move at all to reach out and touch him, to put to rest the crawling panic inside of him that none of this was real either._ _

__Even now Naruto was still too far away from him, but maybe he'd just forgotten how to feel close to anyone._ _

__Sasuke laid there for longer than he would ever admit watching Naruto breathe, waiting for the sight to stop feeling so unreal. He was finally starting to relax when Naruto's expression went tight, his breath suddenly quicker. He made a low sound as he turned his head, his face towards Sasuke now. He'd never seen quite that expression on Naruto's face before, an open kind of grief that only ever showed itself when someone was unaware or completely alone._ _

__While he was laying there watching, frozen in indecision Naruto made the choice for him, opening his eyes as his expression cleared and looking right at Sasuke. He didn't realize just how close he'd let himself get until he watched Naruto's eyes widen, both of them sucking in a sharp breath. Sasuke knew he needed to move back but he couldn't seem to remember how, stuck under the weight of Naruto looking at him, still so painfully close and he wasn't moving away._ _

__"Sorry," Sasuke forced out, his voice like he'd never heard it before, "I couldn't sleep and I…"_ _

__Something on Naruto's face relaxed. "Oh, that's alright. I thought I woke you up."_ _

__"You didn't," Sasuke said simply, those small words feeling close to a miracle with the nerves coursing out over all of him. He'd never really wanted anyone before, but with how desperate he felt now Sasuke had to wonder if that was really true, if some small part of him had always wanted this but he'd just been too stubborn to see it._ _

__Naruto still wasn't moving away from him._ _

__"Some things never change," Naruto whispered, voice far away._ _

__"What do you mean?"_ _

__His smile was sad all over. "We both still have shit dreams."_ _

__"What did–" Sasuke broke off, swallowing roughly. "You can tell me about it, if you want to."_ _

__"I've had it before." Naruto paused, like he was looking for something on Sasuke's face. All Sasuke could do was look back at him. "I've had it since you left."_ _

__"Oh," Sasuke said softly, quietly gutted._ _

__"It's not even about what happened, not really. We fight but it never ends until there's nothing left of us at all, just dust." Naruto looked far away for a moment longer before his eyes moved down between them, eyebrows pulling together. "Sorry that's–I don't really know why I told you that."_ _

__"My dream was about you too." Naruto looked back at him instantly and Sasuke couldn't even hate himself for somehow letting those words escape. In the quiet dark room so close together like this it felt almost dangerously easy to let himself say anything at all. "We were back at the village, going to have dinner with my parents."_ _

__Sasuke didn't have it in him to tell Naruto the rest._ _

__For a long moment Naruto said nothing, so close Sasuke couldn't really make out his expression at all. It felt like all he could see were Naruto's eyes, somewhere between the ocean and the sky on a clear day, like nothing else Sasuke had ever seen. The ache in his chest wouldn't go away, the echoing hollowness that seemed to follow him around constantly rattling around in his bones._ _

__Somehow Naruto still felt so far away._ _

__"Leaving you there that day was the hardest thing I've ever done." Sasuke didn't know why he was talking, where the words had come from but it was like a well had spilled over inside of him and the words just kept coming, the years making them rough around the edges, exposing the whole of him. "My family wasn't a choice at all, that happened to me, but you. I had to _choose _to leave you. It felt like–"___ _

____"Sasuke," Naruto cut in, with an urgency to his voice that Sasuke couldn't understand. "You don't have to tell me this."_ _ _ _

____"It felt like dying," Sasuke said instead, like Naruto hadn't said a word. "It felt like the cruelest thing I'd ever done."_ _ _ _

____"It's okay," Naruto said simply, his voice still strained. "I'm not mad."_ _ _ _

____"I know you're not." Sasuke hated that he couldn't even deny it. "I just don't understand why. Out of everyone you should hate me the most."_ _ _ _

____"No," Naruto said as he leaned in, stealing Sasuke's breath for a moment with disbelieving longing, but then he turned his head to the side, one arm coming over Sasuke's side and around his back. His hand moved to the back of Sasuke's head, pulling it forward to rest along his shoulder and Sasuke's breath left him all over again. "No," Naruto said again, softer this time, somehow so much more than the one small word it was._ _ _ _

____Sasuke slowly relaxed against Naruto's chest, some part of him still convinced that this was all just another dream, though no dream he could remember having had ever felt this good, this warm and steady. For once it felt like the ground wasn't moments away from falling out from beneath him._ _ _ _

____The need to sleep finally reached him, and Sasuke knew he should say something, pull away and get back into bed at least, but he just let himself relax against Naruto all the more, chest to chest with their knees just barely brushing._ _ _ _

____Nothing was stopping him from having this, even for just a moment, even if a moment was all it ever was. Sasuke wasn't going to be the first one to pull away, for once he wasn't going to try and leave when it felt so right to stay. Naruto was warm and solid against him and Sasuke let his eyes drift shut, praying to whatever was out there that everything could be just the same when he opened them again._ _ _ _

____*_ _ _ _

____Sasuke kept waiting for awkwardness to fall over them, for the years lost between them to finally make themselves known and steal away the ease they had fallen back into like no time had passed at all. Of course there were moments, little hiccups in their conversations but it was never strained or weighted down, never ill intentioned. No one had spoken to him this way in years, with easy familiarity and genuine interest. No one since Naruto._ _ _ _

____Maybe it would always just be Naruto._ _ _ _

____They were making their way back through the woods when Sasuke stopped, really taking in where they were going. "What are you doing?"_ _ _ _

____"Walking?" Naruto turned and grinned, the same from when he'd been caught in another prank as a child. "Come on, you don't need to look like that. They'll be happy to see you again."_ _ _ _

____"That's not–" Sasuke stopped, realizing he had no real reason at all to argue._ _ _ _

____Naruto's smile softened around the edges. "It'll be fine, come on."_ _ _ _

____Sasuke sighed loud enough that Naruto would hear it but followed after him all the same. What was one more reunion now after everything? A part of him was almost excited, wanting them to see Naruto, wanting them to see that he cared about him that much. Sasuke knew they would worry, and knew nothing in the world could ease that feeling better than being around Naruto. Even just two days in and Sasuke already felt disgustingly soft, helpless against it when Naruto was always just _there _, being nothing but exactly who he was.___ _ _ _

______It was beautiful in a way that was so much bigger than that, so much more than something as simple as appearance or words. Naruto was singular in who he was, beyond description, defying all logic or category. He was just Naruto._ _ _ _ _ _

______He just was._ _ _ _ _ _

______After another half hour the cabin came into view and Sasuke was quietly nervous, feeling like he needed to brace himself for something he couldn't see. When Kadin peeked out the door before yelling out his name and ran over Sasuke still wasn't ready, but he leaned down to hug the boy when he reached him all the same._ _ _ _ _ _

______Naruto's expression was as soft as Sasuke could remember ever seeing it when he glanced over._ _ _ _ _ _

______"You're both back," Kadin said, pulling away as he looked over at Naruto. "You found him then?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Yup," Naruto said around a smile, "I finally found him."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Kadin grabbed Sasuke's hand and pulled. "Come on, Mom will be so happy to see you!"_ _ _ _ _ _

______Sasuke let himself be pulled, unable to even look over at Naruto as they went. He didn't want to imagine the look on Naruto's face now, embarrassment hot and curling in his gut._ _ _ _ _ _

______Akiyo started to push open the door just as they reached it, pausing in the doorway as she took them all in, her eyes lingering on Naruto for a moment before turning back to him._ _ _ _ _ _

______"You did go find him then," she said softly, a smile coming over her face as she stepped in to give him a hug. "I'm so happy to see you."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Sasuke couldn't say a word, face burning as he stiffly brought his arms up around her for a moment before stepping back. "You too," he said softly, looking down at the ground._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Hey," Naruto said just as he pressed up against Sasuke's side, his arm coming to rest over Sasuke's shoulders, "You're the one who found him?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Yes." She looked vaguely amused and Sasuke instantly braced himself. "Are you the one he went to find?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Me?" Naruto asked, laughing right after though it was a strained awkward thing, "No, I'm not–"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Yes," Sasuke cut in, not looking away from Akiyo, "He's the one I was looking for."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"But you–" Naruto's voice fell off when Sasuke elbowed him in the side, dropping his arm from around Sasuke's shoulder with an offended noise._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Can we come in?" Sasuke asked, deciding that acting like nothing had happened at all was the only option left to him. He didn't look over at Naruto once._ _ _ _ _ _

______She laughed for a moment before stepping back and letting them inside, Kadin running past them all with an impatient huff._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Come on, you're just in time for dinner."_ _ _ _ _ _

______*_ _ _ _ _ _

______They both loved Naruto right away, because of course they did. Naruto was ready to play whatever game came to Kadin's mind and told Akiyo stories about Sasuke chasing cats, there was never anything else that could have happened. Naruto just made it so easy._ _ _ _ _ _

______"So what about you?" Akiyo asked, all of them now sitting around the table eating, "Everything you've told us so far has been about Sasuke, I want to know about you."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Me?" Naruto asked, clearly embarrassed, "I'm not much to talk about."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"He's gonna be Hokage," Sasuke cut in, watching Naruto's expression shift but into what he couldn't tell, "Right?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Yeah," Naruto said with something far away in his eyes that Sasuke couldn't place before he smiled, "Yeah, I am."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Hokage," Akiyo repeated back. "That's no small undertaking. What made you decide to make that your goal?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______Sasuke watched Naruto's eyes widen and realized he actually didn't know the answer, that he'd never asked. He couldn't remember anyone asking Naruto when he said it, mostly Sasuke just remembered people telling Naruto to shut up, himself more than anymore._ _ _ _ _ _

______Sasuke looked down at his bowl of soup, his appetite suddenly gone._ _ _ _ _ _

______"I guess I just want to change things," Naruto said after a beat, his voice soft and contemplative. "I know that must sound naive, but I just don't think things have to be this way."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"What way is that?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Constant fighting, children killing just to have money to raise themselves. It shouldn't be that way, too many people get forgotten and left behind."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"I don't think it's naive to hope for a better future." Sasuke looked up and saw her reaching out across the table to squeeze Naruto's hand for a moment before pulling it back. "I hope you do become Hokage."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Thanks," Naruto said, his smile a bit smaller than his usual one but so genuine it hurt Sasuke just a bit to look at it. "I hope so too."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"You will." Sasuke didn't even realize he'd said the words out loud until he saw the way Naruto was looking at him, but it was too late to take them back, and in the end he didn't really want to anymore. Silence had been his problem from the start. "Who else could it be but you?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"I mean, Kakashi could–"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Lazy."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"He's not lazy!"_ _ _ _ _ _

______Sasuke raised an eyebrow without a word._ _ _ _ _ _

______"I mean, yeah, but still. He could if he wanted to."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"He doesn't want to."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Naruto opened his mouth and obviously decided against it, shrugging as he took a bite instead._ _ _ _ _ _

______"What?" Sasuke asked the moment he turned to look at Akiyo, the look on her face instantly setting him on edge._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Nothing," she said with a fond smile, shaking her head, "I just feel like I'm meeting you again for the first time."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Was he super quiet?" Naruto asked. "He does that."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Naruto," Sasuke said followed by nothing, just willing him to stop talking._ _ _ _ _ _

______"You two are too cute." Him and Naruto both turned to glare at the same time, but she just laughed. "Relax, I'm the mom. I get to say that."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Do you have a mom?" Kadin asked Naruto out of nowhere, "Sasuke doesn't have one, so I told him he could share mine. I guess you could too if you need to."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Thanks," Naruto said after a brief moment, smiling though his voice was strained. "I don't either, but I won't take up too much of her time, don't worry."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"You lost your family too?" Akiyo asked quietly after a moment._ _ _ _ _ _

______Naruto's face did a funny thing then, and he almost looked nervous when he turned to Sasuke and their eyes met for a brief moment. "Yeah, but it's not the same. I never knew them at all."_ _ _ _ _ _

______For a moment it was a struggle to breathe, and when Sasuke finally did manage it he only felt worse. Every awful piece of himself he could find had been thrown at Naruto over the years and yet here he was, still obviously hurting but never angry at him, never Sasuke, the one person who deserved it more than anyone._ _ _ _ _ _

_______How could you understand? You were alone from the start. ____ _ _ _ _ _

________"Loss is loss," Akiyo said simply, in that easy warm way she had. "I know that it–"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________It was only when her voice fell off that Sasuke realized he'd stood up from the table, his chair already pushed back like he meant to leave. "Sorry," he said quietly before turning and walking away, hardly feeling the steps he took as he went. Naruto called out his name as he stepped out the front door but Sasuke couldn't look back, he couldn't stop. He knew if he looked at Naruto now everything would fall apart._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sasuke felt every inch a fool when he was somehow shocked that Naruto came after him, just as Sasuke reached a tree to lean his forehead against, taking in sharp breaths of the cool night air._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Hey," Naruto said quietly, taking a slow step towards him like Sasuke was some wild animal, "What happened? Are you–"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Shut up," Sasuke cut in, voice low but still bringing Naruto's words to a stop. Sasuke just stood there for a moment, so angry he couldn't breathe. When Sasuke finally turned Naruto looked hurt and some awful part of him was relieved, that maybe this would finally be the moment Naruto would see him for who he truly was. "I don't understand you."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Naruto's expression turned annoyed. "Yeah Sasuke, you're not exactly an easy person to get a read on either."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"You're worse," Sasuke snapped. "You shouldn't even be here!"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"What? Why wouldn't I be here?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sasuke could only look at him for a moment. "It's like you don't remember."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Remember what?" Naruto asked, still so genuinely confused Sasuke wanted to scream._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________"Remember what? _Remember everything that's happened, remember what I've–"__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"This again?" Naruto cut in, sounding almost strangely relieved. "I told you I'm not mad, it's fine."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"It's not!" Sasuke yelled, not even realizing he was until he felt it in the back of his throat. "It's not," he said again, soft in a way that was almost worse than the yelling. "I haven't even…"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Sasuke." Naruto stepped closer to him then, so close now that Sasuke would hardly have to reach out at all to touch him. He clenched his hands at his sides, forcing himself to stay where he was._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________I'm sorry, _Sasuke wanted to say but didn't. "I haven't even apologized to you."__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"I don't need you to." Naruto said it like it was easy, like that was it, like that was the only reason this could matter._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________But Sasuke knew what he'd done. "Maybe I need to."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Naruto's face went soft before embarrassment came over him, but he still didn't look away. It took Sasuke too long to realize that Naruto was waiting, but even the idea of what his first words should be suddenly felt overwhelming. Naruto must have seen something on his face because he took that last step needed to be just this side of too close, laying a hand along Sasuke's shoulder, high enough that his finger brushed against Sasuke's throat._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"I know you are, you don't have to say it for me to know."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"I'm sorry," Sasuke said, "Naruto, I'm sorry."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"It's okay," Naruto said again, the same urgency from before back in his voice. "You don't have to say it."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Sasuke reached up and laid his hand over Naruto's on his shoulder, squeezing. Naruto looked a little bit how Sasuke felt all the time now, like he had no idea what he could possibly say. The next words Sasuke said were awful, but somehow even more important. "I'm sorry I hurt you, but I can't be sorry I left. I never would have realized otherwise."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Realized what?" Naruto asked after a beat, like he really didn't want to know the answer._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________There were so many things he could say, some years too late and others still too new to even think about properly. Instead Sasuke found himself saying something he hadn't even fully realized yet. "I don't want to fight. I don't think I ever have, it was just the only thing I thought I could do. I'm almost relieved that I can't now."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Face burning Sasuke dropped his hand from over Naruto's, looking down at their dirty feet. Naruto hadn't bothered to slip on his sandals before coming out after him. "But it's more than that," Sasuke said quietly, horrified as each word passed his lips. "I know that if I didn't know what it was like not to have it, I never would have seen it to begin with."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Sasuke looked up, finding Naruto closer than he was ready for and sucking in a sharp breath. But he couldn't let this go now, if he did Sasuke couldn't be sure he would ever say it again. "I'm not saying this right, but I don't know how to say it."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Just tell me," Naruto said, looking right at him like he never wanted to turn away, "Just says whatever you're thinking."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"I didn't see you clearly before, I was too angry to see anything clearly. But I don't know how to be angry like that now, and you're so…"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"What?" Naruto breathed out, his hand moving up to curl around the side of Sasuke's neck, thumb just barely brushing his jaw._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Impossible," Sasuke whispered. "Beautiful," he said even softer, face burning all over. It felt like his heart was moments away from beating out of his chest but somehow Sasuke didn't turn away, holding Naruto's widening eyes with his own. Naruto's hand was still on his neck, fingers just touching his racing pulse. "I don't have the words for it, realizing that you still cared for me this much."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Feeling like a different person entirely, Sasuke stepped in even closer, feeling Naruto's hand briefly clench along his neck. He only stopped when even the smallest shift would have pressed their mouths together, Naruto's breath hot and uneven against his lips in an entirely new feeling Sasuke always wanted to have again. "I want to care about you that much too."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Sasuke," Naruto whispered between them, something in his voice making Sasuke go weak inside._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Knowing that it was the most foolish thing he could do Sasuke gave in, pressing his lips to Naruto's, kissing him as softly as he knew how. Naruto was the only person he'd ever kissed, counting that moment at the academy or not, it was only him. Sasuke couldn't imagine it ever being anyone else._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Despite it being a brief thing Sasuke still felt shaken all over when he pulled back, terrified and excited and full of something he'd never felt before now. He couldn't bring himself to look into Naruto's eyes, but after a long moment of Naruto not saying a word he couldn't help himself anymore._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Naruto looked as shocked as someone could._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Sasuke took a step back, panic beating against his skull. "I didn't mean–I mean I–"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Suddenly Naruto's mouth was over his, his hand moving back into Sasuke's hair as he stepped forward and closed the distance Sasuke had tried to put between them. Sasuke made a low sound before he could stop himself, reaching out to cling to the sides of Naruto's jacket. The kiss wasn't much, just a simple press of lips together but Sasuke still felt run in two, like he would never be the same again. When Naruto started to pull back Sasuke didn't let him, reaching a hand up to the back of Naruto's neck and holding him there._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He didn't want it to be over yet._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________The moment it was over they would have to talk._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Sasuke," Naruto whispered between them when they finally both pulled back, eyes far away but somehow still so focused on him Sasuke didn't know what to do with himself._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Was that okay?" Sasuke could feel his face burning but he knew he had to ask, knew that he couldn't look away even when it was all his insides were screaming at him to do. Naruto's hand was still curled around the back of his neck, warm and comforting._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Yeah," Naruto said after a moment with disbelief in his voice. "That was–yeah."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Yeah?" Sasuke asked, painfully aware of what fools they sounded like._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Naruto nodded, the expression on his face shifting into something like a smile. When he leaned in again Sasuke knew it was coming but still wasn't ready, parting his lips slightly against Naruto's with a quiet sound. Naruto's hand tightened on his neck, his tongue brushing against Sasuke's bottom lip. It felt almost too good for how little it actually was, the type of kiss that Sasuke had seen other people share countless times before. He didn't know how they could bear it when he already felt moments away from falling apart._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Did you two sneak out here to kiss?" Kadin called out and Sasuke pulled himself back all at once, face burning as Naruto's hand fell away from him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Naruto looked at him for a long moment before turning with a grin. "You caught us. Sorry."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Gross," Kadin said simply, "I hate kissing."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________His mom stepped into the doorway behind him, looking quickly between them all before a small smile came over her face. "Alright lovebirds, come finish your soup."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"We're not–" Sasuke started before his voice fell off, Naruto's hand wrapping around his own._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Come on _lovebird _." Naruto said the word like he'd never heard anything funnier. "Let's go eat."___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Sasuke wanted to be embarrassed, to pull his hand away and tell Naruto what would happen if he ever called him that again, but he didn't. He just let Naruto lead him back inside, knowing that he would follow Naruto anywhere now, knowing that it was the only thing he knew how to want at all._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Sasuke walked behind Naruto, just looking at him. All at once he realized it, a quiet thing that didn't feel like much of realization at all, like it had always been there just waiting for him to finally be able to see it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Love._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________For the first time in a long time Sasuke wondered if he could actually be okay, recklessly imagining what it would be like to feel this happy again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________*_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________They left the next morning, the goodbye quiet and easy this time with Naruto by his side. Naruto told them they would come back to visit and Sasuke actually believed him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________That was hours ago now, most of the day already gone. Neither of them had brought up what happened and Sasuke couldn't help wondering if they ever would, if that was all it would ever be. But he still couldn't bring himself to say a word. Naruto was being uncharacteristically quiet and Sasuke didn't know what to do with that, what he could say that wouldn't be worse than silence._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________They would be back at the village tomorrow and Sasuke wanted to talk about that even less._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________"You wanna stop for the night?" Naruto asked without turning._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Sasuke nodded before remembering himself. "Fine."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________They set up camp in silence, not much at all to step up beyond their sleep mats for the night and starting a fire. Neither of them moved to sit by it, still just awkwardly standing by each other without ooking at the other. Sasuke wanted to scream._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________He couldn't let this be the thing that finally ruined everything between them, not this._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Sasuke took a breath before turning, walking over to Naruto before he could convince himself not to. Naruto looked over when Sasuke was right next to him, his eyes widening slightly. "What's up?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Realizing he actually had no idea what to say Sasuke decided not to say anything at all. Even as he felt his face start to burn, Sasuke reached out and took Naruto's hand, leaning in as he did and kissing him. His aim was slightly off, kissing the corner of Naruto's mouth but he didn't let that stop him, turning his head so they were pressed together just right, in that perfect way that had his toes curling in his sandals when Naruto kissed him back, his hand warm on his side._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________"I don't regret it, okay?" Sasuke forced out when they parted, his voice giving everything away, "So don't be weird now."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Sasuke couldn't let himself consider Naruto being the one who regretted it. But then Naruto smiled, that one that Sasuke had only ever seen when they were alone, soft and almost tender, like a secret just for him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________"Right," Naruto said, his voice distant for a moment before he started to lean back in, his tone suddenly wanting in a way that Sasuke couldn't deal with. "I'm gonna kiss you again, okay?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Sasuke's reply was stolen away when Naruto did exactly that but it didn't matter, nothing he could force himself to say could be better than this. Naruto touched him with more certainty than he had yesterday, moving a hand up to tilt Sasuke's head just the way he wanted it while his other hand dropped Sasuke's and moved to squeeze at his waist. Sasuke had both his arms wrapped around Naruto's shoulders before he realized, letting out a rough breath against Naruto's mouth when he moved his hand to Sasuke back and pulled him against him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________If Sasuke thought he was overwhelmed before he had no idea what he was now, like he was standing just on the edge of something bigger than he could understand but desperately wanted to fall into. Naruto started pushing forward and Sasuke let him, walking back until he was pressed against a tree with Naruto flush against him. Naruto pulled away for a moment before tilting his head down, kissing just below Sasuke's jaw before his teeth dragged along his skin. Naruto's hand on his jaw moved to pull Sasuke's collar down, sucking just above where his neck and shoulder met._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Both of Sasuke's hands went to the back of Naruto's head, twisting into his hair and the cloth of his forehead protector, pulling it loose. Naruto pulled his head up just as it fell from his forehead, hanging behind him in Sasuke's hand. He had so rarely seen Naruto without it that Sasuke could only look for a moment, completely transfixed. Naruto looked exactly the same yet completely different, naked in a way that only made Sasuke want him more. Without letting himself think about it Sasuke leaned up and kissed Naruto's forehead, the side of his nose, the soft skin below his eye. Naruto's hand was trembling along his jaw._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________"Sasuke," Naruto breathed out and something in his voice had Sasuke pulling back, a note of worry there that had no place here. "Shouldn't we–I mean we haven't really talked about this."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________"Say whatever you want to say." Sasuke tightened his hand around the back of Naruto's neck when he started to pull away. "I'm not going anywhere, just tell me."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________"I just–" Naruto broke off, biting his bottom lip in an entirely too distracting way. When he went on his voice was as soft as anything could be. "I've never done anything like this before, I've never even kissed anyone."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________"What about me?" Sasuke felt something like a smile pull at his lips, and for the first time in a long time he didn't feel the need to fight it back. "I know we didn't do it on purpose, but I always counted it."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Naruto's face was even more flushed than it had been before, eyes moving over Sasuke's face like he couldn't believe he was real. "I did too, I just didn't think you would. I figured you might have…"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________"You're the only person I've ever wanted." Sasuke felt like he was dying as each word passed his lips but that was okay, sometimes death was just a rebirth looked at from the wrong angle. If it was for Naruto Sasuke knew he would die as many times as it took to stay here. "I can't imagine wanting anyone else."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Naruto kissed him the moment he finished speaking, rougher than he had before, like he wanted to touch every point of Sasuke he could reach. Sasuke forgot himself for a moment, lost in it, clinging to every sensation that felt more unreal than he could say, and the fact that it was Naruto pressed against him making him feel this way only made it that much better. Naruto's hand grabbed his thigh and it was only then that Sasuke realized he was standing on one leg, his other held up along Naruto's hip. Naruto's grip tightened as he pulled Sasuke's leg up even higher, shifting his hips and then they were suddenly pressed right against each other._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Sasuke's head fell back against the tree as he took in a gasping breath, clinging to Naruto. It was so much more than he was ready for but still somehow not near enough. He wanted Naruto as close to him as two people could be, pressed together with nothing between them, to touch every hidden part of him and have Naruto do the same, to have Naruto touch him where even he hadn't dared to touch himself. Sasuke had never wanted that in any real way until this moment, even just the idea of it crude and exposing until he imagined it with Naruto. With Naruto it was painfully appealing, suddenly all Sasuke could think of, the idea of Naruto having him that way sending chills out over the whole of him, sweat gathering behind his knees._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Even though they were outside, Sasuke felt moments away from burning up, the cold night air forgotten. Holding himself up felt like more than he could focus on and before he could think Sasuke was pulling his other leg up, both of them wrapped around Naruto now, ankles crossed low on his back._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Naruto _moaned _, a loud sound in the quiet all around them and Sasuke wanted to pull it inside himself, to eat it and breathe it in until he could bring it back to himself whenever he wanted. Naruto's hand slid down his thigh and gripped and then Sasuke was the one moaning, or at least it felt like he was, what came out high pitched and needy, so horribly revealing that Sasuke felt himself burn all over but he still couldn't dream of pulling away. He doubted there was anything that could make him want to stop now.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________"Is this–" Naruto broke off, swallowing roughly. Sasuke couldn't remember a time his eyes had ever looked so heavy. "Do you like it?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________"Don't stop," Sasuke said before he could think, but like he'd said the words to himself he just kept going. "Please, I can't–please just–"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Naruto kissed him and Sasuke let out another awful sound but it only made Naruto press against him even harder, so maybe it wasn't that awful at all. When Naruto rolled his hips against his again Sasuke didn't bother trying to hold the noise waiting in his chest back, feeling Naruto hold onto him tighter when he did, kissing him even deeper. Sasuke couldn't remember a time he'd ever been this turned on, this desperate for touch. Even wrapped around Naruto, pressed together all over like this it still didn't feel like enough._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Sasuke didn't even realize he was gasping Naruto's name until the other was reassuring him in a low voice. Every word Naruto said made him burn all over, and Sasuke found himself wanting something again for the very first time. "Tell me," he whispered against Naruto's mouth._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________"What?" Naruto asked, quickly followed by, "Anything."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________"Say you want me."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Naruto's head dropped forward, panting against his neck before moving up so his mouth dragged against Sasuke's ear. "I want you," Naruto said, his voice low and rough and Sasuke pulled his back into an arch before he could stop himself, wanting them as close as possible._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________"Say you need me."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________"Sasuke." Naruto's voice was choked now, his grip sure to be leaving bruises but Sasuke wanted too much to care, wanted to be able to feel and see this moment long after it was over. "I need you, I need you so badly."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________"Say you–" But Sasuke couldn't get the words out, couldn't dare to ask for them when he could hardly even think them to himself. It was too soon, rationally Sasuke knew that it was, but in his heart it felt like he'd been waiting for years, like it didn't happen soon some part of him would die._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________"Yes," Naruto said regardless, even without knowing, like he would agree to anything as long as it was Sasuke asking._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Sasuke couldn't say a word after that, feeling too much inside for any words to come close to explaining. It struck him all over again that Naruto was holding him up and he tightened his legs around him, shaking when Naruto made a choked off noise against his neck._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________When he fell over the edge it came as a surprise, knocking the air from his lungs as he tensed all over, biting his lower lip until it ached. Sasuke turned his head, gasping along Naruto's jaw as tight burning heat shook out over all of him, blinding him to everything but _Naruto, Naruto, Naruto. _____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Sasuke didn't realize he was actually saying it until Naruto responded with his own name, more breathless than he'd been the entire time. Even though it was too much Sasuke pressed himself against Naruto again, wanting him to feel it, wanting to see Naruto finally let go. Sasuke tightened a hand in Naruto's hair and pulled his head back, hardly able to breathe but knowing that he had to see._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Naruto made an almost broken noise before his expression went tight, eyes fluttering as his hips lost their rhythm. Sasuke ran his heel down low on Naruto's back as he pulled his head forward to rest along his neck, holding Naruto as he shook all over, his hands trembling on Sasuke's hips. Naruto hips jerked a few more times before falling still, breathing harshly against his neck._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________For a moment Sasuke was nothing, mind adrift as he languished in the feeling of not feeling bad about anything. He didn't think he'd ever felt this good, relaxed in a way he hadn't even known he could be. He almost felt like someone else altogether, or maybe someone he'd forgotten years ago._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Then his hips started to ache, back itching where it was pressed into the rough bark. Wincing to himself Sasuke moved to drop his legs, Naruto making a low sound before moving his hand to Sasuke's other thigh and guiding his leg back to the ground, his hand squeezing softly before it fell away._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Somehow Sasuke already wanted him again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Locking his legs Sasuke leaned back against the tree, unable to look away from Naruto's face. "Don't be weird now," Sasuke found himself saying, suddenly terrified, "I can't–"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________"How are you already worrying?" Naruto asked as he took a step forward, his voice low and fond. "Do I look like I'm freaking out?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Sasuke shook his head, all he could manage when he realized that he might be the one on the verge of losing it. Even with all his clothes on he felt so naked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________"Hey," Naruto said softly, reaching out to hold the side of his face before leaning in and kissing him even softer. "It's okay, whatever you're worried about, it's fine."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Sasuke knew that it couldn't be but found himself nodding anyway, desperate to pretend for even this one small moment. Nothing lasted, he knew that, but Sasuke felt a far off point inside of him whispering that maybe this could, that maybe he'd finally found the one person who would really never leave him again. If it had been up to Naruto they never would have been apart at all._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________It shouldn't have felt right after everything he'd been through but Sasuke couldn't find the lie in his heart now, looking at Naruto he just knew._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________He just knew._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading~


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